My introduction to Lenten tradition took place on the public school playground when I was 9 or 10 years old. Carlos came to school with a dirty smudge in the shape of an X on his forehead one Wednesday in spring. No one said anything during class. There was just some muffled giggling and whispers. Then recess came. Of course, being ignorant kids, we immediately made fun of him; as was our duty when anyone did something different or unusual. In his defense, Carlos blurted out that this was what everyone did at their church on Ash Wednesday. This made me curious.
I had recently become a new Christian along with my parents and we attended an Assembly of God Church, but we didn’t get smudged on Wednesday. Why did they do this at Carlos’ Church? I cornered him about this at the drinking fountain. I remember that he explained it like many 9-year-olds would. “I dunno why we do it. It has to do with Jesus dying on the cross or something.” And that marked the beginning of my very incomplete education of High Church Sacraments and Traditions.
As I grew older, my own church dismissed Ash Wednesday and Lenten traditions like fasting and praying as an archaic invitation to morbidity. My church of origin equated it with the ancient extreme practices of mortification like self-flagellation. Our pastor would say, “My Jesus is not DEAD! He is alive. He is risen! He is victorious over death! We are free!” So I ignored Lent in favor of the tidy closure of a risen savior; clean and white and shiny; bloodstain-free.
The Anglican tradition was introduced to me anew about twenty years later as an adult wife and mother when we were baptized and confirmed in the Anglican Church. This time I had better advisers into the meaning behind the traditions and sacraments of Lent. I learned that Ash Wednesday has several meanings. The ashes are used, just like in the Old Testament as a symbol of mortality/death and humility. The Church we attended at the time would actually save the palm branches they used on the previous Palm Sunday; the day that Christ rode the donkey through Jerusalem and was worshipped and praised with the waving of Palm Branches. They would then dry out those branches, burn them to ashes; and then use those ashes from those palm branches on the subsequent Ash Wednesday. What a brilliant reminder of our fickle and forgetful humanity; worshipping God on Sunday, crucifying Him on Friday – so in need of a Redeemer.
I then began noticing the people around me discussing what they were going to “give up” during the Lenten Season. The most common topic was fasting. Many people fasted on Wednesdays and Sundays or would only eat soup on Wednesdays. We even had a Soup Night at our Church on Wednesday nights where all the participants would take turns making and bringing their favorite soups on Wednesday nights. This meal would be followed with a multi-week study of the crucifixion and prayer. I loved it and I learned so much about the Lenten traditions listening to the more well-seasoned Anglicans.
At one stage of my life, I began to pray and felt compelled to do a liquid fast. I soon learned that, as a Christ-follower, to truly fast from something is not mortification or self-pity; but rather intentionally creating a space for God normally filled with food. It is an invitation TO something more than merely a withdrawal FROM something. I was advised to cleanse my system for two days prior to the fast, and read some excellent articles on fasting by Campus Crusade for Christ in preparation. I was also advised to check in with my husband and get his okay as well. We are one person, so anything I do will affect him as well. Additionally, I would need his support, prayer and encouragement as I began this journey.
The first 2 1/2 days were the hardest. Interestingly, I did not have to stop cooking for my family during this time. I enjoyed it even more in some ways as I had a new gratitude for food and vicariously fed my family what I could not give myself at that time. I would sit with them with my broth or juice and I was amazed at how much more I was interested in the conversation and the nuances of my children’s behavior. It was like I was peeling back a layer into my relationships with the people around me that I saw every day; a layer that I didn’t really see before. As I was getting in touch with my own spiritual identity, I was becoming aware of my family’s dual identity as well. I finally experienced, to some degree, what C.S. Lewis referenced in his book, The Weight of Glory.
It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another; all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal.
I was sobered and giddy to realize my own spiritual identity as well as that of many all around me. The physical effects of my fast were surprising as well. I was sleeping better. I would jump out of bed in the morning without the usual coffee-dependent grogginess, and my energy level was easily maintained throughout my teaching day. This was WITHOUT caffeine!
Another unexpected side effect was my heightened cognitive acuity. I recall my lunch hour in the teacher’s lounge about the mid-point of my 40 day fast. I was sitting at the computer typing up scriptures for my weekly women’s bible study. The computer consul was positioned next to a doorway between the main office in the front and the teacher’s lunch table in the back of me. There were at least two conversations going on behind me at the lunch table and several ongoing conversations between the office receptionist and clients that dropped in. I found myself engaging in conversations with my teacher friends, providing information to the receptionist, and typing my verses simultaneously without feeling frazzled and without any typing errors; this after fasting for almost three weeks.
My prayer life was the most interesting change. I was no longer “doing prayers”. I was a prayer. My life and my whole being were so integrated with conversing with God and he with me, it was like I didn’t know where I ended and he began. Strangely though, it did not make me out of touch with my humanity. I was MORE human. I felt more empathy for those around me; even more connected to my fellow man. I remember that during this time my husband was sick. I woke up and I saw him lying there ill and I felt compelled to just hold my hand on his head. I remember staring at my hand and being amazed that at this moment that my hand and God’s hand were one and the same. It even seemed that muttering a prayer would have been redundant. I felt the weighty presence of God so strong in my physical and spiritual being that this was enough. It was an unforgettable and humbling experience. I never even woke Dave up. I just held my hand on his head for the longest time until I felt released. I wish I could say he was healed the next day or something like that. However, I honestly do not remember. For me, the larger miracle was the revelation of God’s presence manifested in my own doubting Thomas hands.
Lastly, I remember almost not wanting to break the fast. Fasting that long does put you in an altered state. It is dangerous to do it without the help of the Holy Spirit. We are always more spiritually vulnerable and attuned when we are in an altered state of any kind. Isn’t this when Satan tempted Christ in the Desert? I have learned that it is essential to seek God’s filling of our physical and spiritual void during a Fast of any kind.
Is everyone called to a 40-day fast during the Lenten Season? I do not know. It certainly would not be wise to do it without an okay from a physician if you have any health issues. I do know that some kind of fast is spiritually beneficial, even if it is not food. As Father Rob recently said, "The bible does say, “WHEN you fast” not “IF you fast” so it seems there is a time when it is imperative in every believer’s life to fast something some time." For me, it was food. For others, it may be a partial fast of chocolate, coffee, meat or sugar. Last year I gave up Facebook and “procrastifacing”. You may want to give up television, texting or the internet when not at work.
The advice I have heard is that it is not What You Give Up, but rather How You Fill the Void that really matters in a true spiritual fast. For me it was the praying the BCP and Scripture. A good group or self-study like Eugene Peterson’s Tell it Slant might be another way to go; particularly Chapter 19: Jesus Prays from the Cross: The Seven Last Words. This is very powerful to read during the Lenten season.
This is the season of our faith where we recognize, respect and ponder grief, death, and our common mortality. It cheapens Life to ignore Death.
Again, I must make a C.S. Lewis Reference here. In the movie Shadowlands there is a point where Lewis gets a bit impatient with his terminally ill wife during a beautiful walk in the Golden Valley. Her terminal cancer is in remission. The day is perfect. He comments how he wishes the moment could last.
His no-nonsense wife says, “You know it’s not going to last.”Irritated, he responds, “Let’s not ruin the good moment right NOW talking about the bad stuff that comes later.”
She counters, “The bad stuff later is part of the good stuff now. It makes it real! You can’t have one without the other. That’s the deal.”
I would add that the reverse is also true in the context of Christ’s death and resurrection. The bad stuff now, the pain, the death, the grief and sorrow; it’s all part of the good stuff then, the resurrection, the hope renewed, the ransom paid. It makes it real! You cannot separate the two. That’s the deal.
I had recently become a new Christian along with my parents and we attended an Assembly of God Church, but we didn’t get smudged on Wednesday. Why did they do this at Carlos’ Church? I cornered him about this at the drinking fountain. I remember that he explained it like many 9-year-olds would. “I dunno why we do it. It has to do with Jesus dying on the cross or something.” And that marked the beginning of my very incomplete education of High Church Sacraments and Traditions.
As I grew older, my own church dismissed Ash Wednesday and Lenten traditions like fasting and praying as an archaic invitation to morbidity. My church of origin equated it with the ancient extreme practices of mortification like self-flagellation. Our pastor would say, “My Jesus is not DEAD! He is alive. He is risen! He is victorious over death! We are free!” So I ignored Lent in favor of the tidy closure of a risen savior; clean and white and shiny; bloodstain-free.
The Anglican tradition was introduced to me anew about twenty years later as an adult wife and mother when we were baptized and confirmed in the Anglican Church. This time I had better advisers into the meaning behind the traditions and sacraments of Lent. I learned that Ash Wednesday has several meanings. The ashes are used, just like in the Old Testament as a symbol of mortality/death and humility. The Church we attended at the time would actually save the palm branches they used on the previous Palm Sunday; the day that Christ rode the donkey through Jerusalem and was worshipped and praised with the waving of Palm Branches. They would then dry out those branches, burn them to ashes; and then use those ashes from those palm branches on the subsequent Ash Wednesday. What a brilliant reminder of our fickle and forgetful humanity; worshipping God on Sunday, crucifying Him on Friday – so in need of a Redeemer.
I then began noticing the people around me discussing what they were going to “give up” during the Lenten Season. The most common topic was fasting. Many people fasted on Wednesdays and Sundays or would only eat soup on Wednesdays. We even had a Soup Night at our Church on Wednesday nights where all the participants would take turns making and bringing their favorite soups on Wednesday nights. This meal would be followed with a multi-week study of the crucifixion and prayer. I loved it and I learned so much about the Lenten traditions listening to the more well-seasoned Anglicans.
At one stage of my life, I began to pray and felt compelled to do a liquid fast. I soon learned that, as a Christ-follower, to truly fast from something is not mortification or self-pity; but rather intentionally creating a space for God normally filled with food. It is an invitation TO something more than merely a withdrawal FROM something. I was advised to cleanse my system for two days prior to the fast, and read some excellent articles on fasting by Campus Crusade for Christ in preparation. I was also advised to check in with my husband and get his okay as well. We are one person, so anything I do will affect him as well. Additionally, I would need his support, prayer and encouragement as I began this journey.
The first 2 1/2 days were the hardest. Interestingly, I did not have to stop cooking for my family during this time. I enjoyed it even more in some ways as I had a new gratitude for food and vicariously fed my family what I could not give myself at that time. I would sit with them with my broth or juice and I was amazed at how much more I was interested in the conversation and the nuances of my children’s behavior. It was like I was peeling back a layer into my relationships with the people around me that I saw every day; a layer that I didn’t really see before. As I was getting in touch with my own spiritual identity, I was becoming aware of my family’s dual identity as well. I finally experienced, to some degree, what C.S. Lewis referenced in his book, The Weight of Glory.
It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another; all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal.
I was sobered and giddy to realize my own spiritual identity as well as that of many all around me. The physical effects of my fast were surprising as well. I was sleeping better. I would jump out of bed in the morning without the usual coffee-dependent grogginess, and my energy level was easily maintained throughout my teaching day. This was WITHOUT caffeine!
Another unexpected side effect was my heightened cognitive acuity. I recall my lunch hour in the teacher’s lounge about the mid-point of my 40 day fast. I was sitting at the computer typing up scriptures for my weekly women’s bible study. The computer consul was positioned next to a doorway between the main office in the front and the teacher’s lunch table in the back of me. There were at least two conversations going on behind me at the lunch table and several ongoing conversations between the office receptionist and clients that dropped in. I found myself engaging in conversations with my teacher friends, providing information to the receptionist, and typing my verses simultaneously without feeling frazzled and without any typing errors; this after fasting for almost three weeks.
My prayer life was the most interesting change. I was no longer “doing prayers”. I was a prayer. My life and my whole being were so integrated with conversing with God and he with me, it was like I didn’t know where I ended and he began. Strangely though, it did not make me out of touch with my humanity. I was MORE human. I felt more empathy for those around me; even more connected to my fellow man. I remember that during this time my husband was sick. I woke up and I saw him lying there ill and I felt compelled to just hold my hand on his head. I remember staring at my hand and being amazed that at this moment that my hand and God’s hand were one and the same. It even seemed that muttering a prayer would have been redundant. I felt the weighty presence of God so strong in my physical and spiritual being that this was enough. It was an unforgettable and humbling experience. I never even woke Dave up. I just held my hand on his head for the longest time until I felt released. I wish I could say he was healed the next day or something like that. However, I honestly do not remember. For me, the larger miracle was the revelation of God’s presence manifested in my own doubting Thomas hands.
Lastly, I remember almost not wanting to break the fast. Fasting that long does put you in an altered state. It is dangerous to do it without the help of the Holy Spirit. We are always more spiritually vulnerable and attuned when we are in an altered state of any kind. Isn’t this when Satan tempted Christ in the Desert? I have learned that it is essential to seek God’s filling of our physical and spiritual void during a Fast of any kind.
Is everyone called to a 40-day fast during the Lenten Season? I do not know. It certainly would not be wise to do it without an okay from a physician if you have any health issues. I do know that some kind of fast is spiritually beneficial, even if it is not food. As Father Rob recently said, "The bible does say, “WHEN you fast” not “IF you fast” so it seems there is a time when it is imperative in every believer’s life to fast something some time." For me, it was food. For others, it may be a partial fast of chocolate, coffee, meat or sugar. Last year I gave up Facebook and “procrastifacing”. You may want to give up television, texting or the internet when not at work.
The advice I have heard is that it is not What You Give Up, but rather How You Fill the Void that really matters in a true spiritual fast. For me it was the praying the BCP and Scripture. A good group or self-study like Eugene Peterson’s Tell it Slant might be another way to go; particularly Chapter 19: Jesus Prays from the Cross: The Seven Last Words. This is very powerful to read during the Lenten season.
This is the season of our faith where we recognize, respect and ponder grief, death, and our common mortality. It cheapens Life to ignore Death.
Again, I must make a C.S. Lewis Reference here. In the movie Shadowlands there is a point where Lewis gets a bit impatient with his terminally ill wife during a beautiful walk in the Golden Valley. Her terminal cancer is in remission. The day is perfect. He comments how he wishes the moment could last.
His no-nonsense wife says, “You know it’s not going to last.”Irritated, he responds, “Let’s not ruin the good moment right NOW talking about the bad stuff that comes later.”
She counters, “The bad stuff later is part of the good stuff now. It makes it real! You can’t have one without the other. That’s the deal.”
I would add that the reverse is also true in the context of Christ’s death and resurrection. The bad stuff now, the pain, the death, the grief and sorrow; it’s all part of the good stuff then, the resurrection, the hope renewed, the ransom paid. It makes it real! You cannot separate the two. That’s the deal.
