Reflections On the Eviction of a Holy Church

Dear Fellow Pew Sitters:
Welcome! This is the first edition of my blog that will focus on my view from the pew.

This past week our wonderful Anglican Church, St. Luke's of the Mountains in La Crescenta, was evicted from their property of 80 plus years because they refuse to serve under a diocese that has strayed from the gospel and orthodoxy to the extent that they claim scripture to be irrelevant. Irrelevant. Not open to interpretation; not even worthy enough to banter over before making critical leadership decisions. Merely irrelevant.

At any rate, our sleeves are rolled up and we are throwing our stuff in the green pickup truck and moving on. We are among a great host of witnesses as we follow Christ and many saints that have gone before in our conviction that part of being the church is being counter-culture and persecuted. It feels, strangely, like a badge of honor to be treated in this manner.

However, despite all of this, I have a confession to make: I am a semi-liberal parishioner fiercely committed to an orthodox,biblically conservative and politically-incorrect church. While I was quoted in the LA Times in support of the church and its stand against ECUSA/scriptural irrelevance, I must admit that I have lesbian and gay friends who have almost unfriended me on facebook for betraying them and, what they consider to be, the very core of their being. (I should also note here that not all ECUSA rectors still serving under the liberal Southern California diocese are in alignment with their bishop, but are still openly defying their own diocese's stance on scriptural irrelevancy from within their own walls. In many ways, this is an even more difficult a tide to swim against. I feel a solidarity with these orthodox ECUSA parishes as well.)

Although I am behind the church 100% regarding the stand it is taking for scriptural relevancy and orthodox doctrine, I am passionately conflicted about sexuality issues (not my own – just generally speaking). When I am surrounded by people who share my sexual tradition and church opinions, I am confident, sure, and adamant in my beliefs. When I am hanging with my more liberal, Episcopagan friends, I feel duplicitous, arrogant, exclusive, uncertain of my convictions, and ambivalent. One of my brilliant Episcopagan friends challenged my LA Times quote on Facebook with the comment:

God’s love is inclusive not exclusive
And I thought, Hmmmm… Yes. Yes, it is. You are right! I remember hearing that on Oprah so it must be true…
Then my Eastern Orthodox Friend countered my Episcopagan friend with the comment:
God's love isn't inclusive.
It is boundless, not willing that any should perish. It is God's love that grants us the freedom to follow our own inclinations rather than the way of salvation that is readily available to all.
And I thought, Hmmmmmmmmmm. Yes. Yes it is. You are right.
Then my very liberal professor, mentor and best friend yelled at me in my mind saying,
They cannot both be right!!!!
And I thought, Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Yes. Yes that is true. You also are right.

And then I thought, I really must stop watching “Fiddler on the Roof” over and over again when I am home sick for the week.
After being soundly beat up by my Episcopagan friends this week, I began asking the hard questions. I was tempted to search scripture again for any loopholes that might make "gay okay". I realized that I can comb the bible all I want for loopholes. I used to look for loopholes for pre-marital sex because, well, we really really really really really loved each other, but in the end I could not choose to dismiss scripture as irrelevant merely because it did not fit my very natural 20-something inclinations to sleep with my boyfriend.

To be honest, one of the many reasons Dave and I left the evangelical low church tradition of our childhood in exchange for the high church traditions of the Anglican communion was to embrace a vibrant, grace-giving, inclusive church community that would welcome any and all sinners into its doors. We do this well. I want a church that cares about the poor and the sick and the disenfranchised – that reaches out to all people regardless of their messiness. I frankly want a church that looks like heaven will look one day – diverse and ecumenical. But let us be clear. I want a church, not a social club.

For me that means that while I go to church to hear the good news of the gospel, I must, as a prerequisite accept that we live in a fallen, broken world that is wrought with bad news; a world desperately NEEDING good news. For me, a church must part company with ECUSA because they no longer can preach the good news. You cannot preach good news unless you are preaching with the understanding that we live in a world that is wrought with bad news; a world desperately NEEDING good news. However, ECUSA must at some point acknowledge that there is no gospel (no good news) where scripture is irrelevant.

If sin is a myth, then so is the need for repentance. If there is no sin; nothing to be saved FROM, then there is no crucifixion or resurrection; there is no Savior; just a watered-down, politically correct, small g god, malleable, conformed to our own whimsy - crafted in our own image. Gone is the GREAT: Christmas and Easter, but here to stay is the "good": Kwaanza, Earth Day and the Spirit of Ubuntu.


And still I am conflicted... I want to be liked. I want to be a good Episcopalian: open-minded, smart, sophisticated, politically savvy, loving to a fault, inclusive, progressive, reconciliatory, and cutting edge. I feel like if I disagree with my ECUSA friends that I will be out of this invisible "cool" politically-correct club. Words will be whispered behind my back like: exclusive, small-minded, old-fashioned, homophobic, arcane, fundamentalist, racist, misogynistic, judgmental, even fat and poorly dressed in bright green polyester and sensible shoes. It is much more fun to be fashionable.

But then I remember – it is not about ME! It is about Holiness, obedience and a righteous God that requires this from us so we can be in union with him, so that we can have life - and life ABUNDANTLY. He is for us - even to the point that he would send his Son to the Cross to make this possible. At the end of the day, can I say Christ died for nothing? Can I mock the Eucharist?

I admit it. I don’t like that the bible is not always clear. I wish it were all so obvious. I wish God would explain why some people insist that they were born with no desire to pro-create with the opposite sex and some not.

Sometimes I am embarrassed to admit this but I identify with Lot’s wife at times. Remember when she turned and looked back at Sodom and Gomorrah and was turned to a pillar of salt. I used to think that she was so stupid, like those rubber-neck drivers slowing down traffic on the 210. The command was so clear and so easy, “Don’t look back! Don’t look back!”
"Oh C’mon. Lord, just one little peak?"… boom – she’s a salt lick.
But now I find myself identifying with Lot’s wife. As I have gotten older and our culture has gotten lax, life has gotten harder and messier. Secretly, I love shows like “Will and Grace”, "Glee", and “Modern Family”. Ellen is one of my favorite comedians and day time hosts. Being gay is fashionable. My friends who embrace homosexuality as a lifestyle are among the most brilliant, fun, insightful, creative minds that I have ever crossed paths with. To me, and indeed to God, they are MORE than their sexual choices. They are the Imago Dei – created in his image. They are also sinners, just like me, drowning in bad news – needing good news; needing the gospel. I have to admit, it is hard not to look back. I think it should be hard. It is always hard to balance our love for the people around us, but in the end to love and fear God more.

Lastly, as I said before, it is not about me. It is about God. It is about his church. The church needs to step up and be the church. As I wrote from my pew last Sunday, if the church is truly following in Christ's footsteps, it will be counter-culture, radical, politically incorrect and persecuted at one point or another. This is our history. Admittedly this can feel contrary to the people-pleaser in me. I struggle daily against the heresy of universalism for the same reason. Can’t we all just get along? I don't want anyone to be left out. But when I look to scripture, the answer is clearly NO! Man was given the will to choose, and man can and will always choose to say NO to God, or not.

In conclusion, to quote my Eastern Orthodox friend's scriptural wisdom once again:
God's love isn't inclusive. It is boundless, not willing that any should perish. It is God's love that grants us the freedom to follow our own inclinations rather than the way of salvation that is readily available to all.

I think that says it all.

Sitting in my Own Pew,
Cathy Bartholomew